Africa News Bulletin

Marriage has no deadline, what’s with the pressure?

I keep telling my friends, it’s better to get married late than rush into it and end up with the wrong person. There are no medals or prizes for those who get married early in life yet the pressure on people to tie the knot is only getting more intense. Too many “Save the Date” posters circulating all over social media, and that is fine, it is their turn, the only issue is feeling obligated to do the same because society says so.

There is a lot of pressure from family and society in general, especially for women, when they are done with university and in their mid-20s.

People are quick to ask when a woman is bringing the man home, unconcerned about the hardships of finding the right partner—someone she shares the same values with and et cetera. Men are also under pressure to get married, but not as much as women.

In November, I received great news from a friend. We studied together and she trusted God to send her Prince Charming. After waiting patiently, she found a ‘good man’. Long story short, they dated for three months and the good news she wanted to share was that he had proposed.

She said, “Can you imagine Zack did it? He got down on one knee like in the movies and asked me to be his wife?” I was happy for her, of course, knowing that she had waited for this moment so eagerly.

They started preparations for the introduction and wedding. I had my outfits ready because this wasn’t a wedding I was going to miss. But their relationship had some glitches, like poor communication that became arguments and misunderstandings.

Unfortunately, the wedding that was to take place in January this year, didn’t happen. I called my friend to ask if the wedding was still on as she had gone silent for a long time, and she told me it had been cancelled.

I can’t imagine the heartbreak, like her world was shattered, but she will be fine with time. I wonder if she will ever give love a chance again. I am not so sure, but we are hopeful anyway.

So, it’s not advisable to ask people why they aren’t married yet, as you do not know their story. They could be battling rejection, distress, betrayal and so forth.

I have no doubt that some relationships self-destruct due to selfishness. If you haven’t met the right one, give it time. Don’t lower your standards just to get a ring as marriage without happiness is no good.

Some women are now contemplating giving birth before marriage as age isn’t on their side. Looking at famous singer Rihanna’s pregnancy news that broke the internet recently, someone tweeted warning women to stop waiting for weddings to have children as there are complications in giving birth past the age of 35. His explanation was that, although Rihanna can afford a luxurious wedding, she didn’t have one before conceiving.

I believe everyone should do what works for them. At the end of the day, it is your life, your happiness.

Original story on The New Times

Leave a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Scroll to Top